Here's some existential pondering that's spawned from a morning epiphany ...with "spiritual aspiration," as with many other things, there can be a spectrum of possible participation that ranges between the extremes of:

Approach A: the philosophical apathy of "there's nothing 'spiritually' enduring or eternal about an individual or any 'soul,' so I'm just gonna follow my instincts and act however I will with each whim. Let's party now and enjoy as much immediate pleasure and instant gratification as possible, cause when we die it's just over."

all the way to

Approach B: the philosophical confidence and security that "the spirit of each individual is eternally enduring, and our choices affect consequences that continue over beyond this bodily incarnation, so I must strive to act in ways that are in alignment with upholding values that transcend physical life, providing the most post-mortem benefit, interest, and appreciation for what's to come. The physical attachments I absolve myself from now will lighten my load in the broader context of who I wholly am.

Regardless of where along the spectrum I may find myself, I definitely deeply feel that there ARE aspects to life that are eternally enduring, and our individuality existing in space and time seems to share some innate link with timelessness, which then must be experienced through physical reality in the form of present circumstances owing to pre-incarnated causes, and present actions leading to future incarnation and/or spiritual (non-physical) effects. In short, I've activated enough experience in this life that has promoted Approach B so that I am highly unlikely to slip all the way into Approach A, even in the midst of profound tragedy. (Granted, I have come through Approach A though, as I can recall periods of my life with a philosophy that was more focused there...) The concepts of soul evolution, karma, past/other lives, soul bonds, etc. all have struck a chord with me as I've examined my own life, and I've "woken up" at least enough to "peek through the cracks" of some life mysteries so that I have no desire to "fall asleep" any further....

As such, it's easy to see how an Approach A configuration to life might stir up all sorts of situations and experiences with consequences that unknowingly must be addressed and "cleaned up" at some future point. To the contrary, an Approach B configuration seems to be primarily focused on such "clean up." They're simply two gravitational directions between which the pendulum of life swings. Neither one is inherently right or wrong...

However, once you've had a little exposure to the taste of deep insights, rapturous revelations, spiritual validations, intense relationships, unconditional love/happiness, cathartic healings, and synchronistic discoveries, it's pretty common to seek more...I can definitely identify with an urge and yearning towards self-improvement which spiritually aspires to eliminate negative habits/traits in order to transform myself to a more purified condition that's better able to be consciously aware of growth opportunities, openly receive guidance and support, and actively direct focus and energy towards endeavors that are increasingly liberating, compassionate, and empowering. However, there's also not currently a fire under my ass about any of it either at present...

In fact, this whole life of mine seems to be “slowing my roll”...I can tend to be a pretty gung-ho, balls to the wall, extreme, all the way kind of person when I really make up my mind to enact something, change something, and just pretty much WILL something...but all my Approach B urgency to strip off old debris that's keeping me bound to past conditions/habits, which prevent further growth and enlightenment, is for some reason currently diminished...but I'm really not that upset about it all right now...

It could be a mark of spiritual arrogance or immaturity (fore sure...), but I'm just not in any hurry to exactly liberate myself from the cycle of birth and death completely...if that even is any endgame to aim for...Quit the contrary, I'm quite enjoying where I've already gotten things to for myself in this life, and I look forward to enjoying more. Of course, I do desire to pave the way to any post-mortem future experiences by making steps forward (not back...), so it's important to act with integrity, wholeness, and authenticity as much as possible to continue perpetuating progress. However....I really don't want to get TOO far ahead of myself... ;P~...and my loved ones! (I am rather fond of certain soul connections, and there could be a part of me that nostalgically, sentimentally, sometimes subconsciously refuses to move beyond certain points of progress which might require loved ones to be “let go” in some way...) I'm just not, at this time, sold on the idea of working my way out of a body completely anyways...LOL...totally expect that my present stance may transform with life maturity though...

For now though, and quite specific to this current life in general, I'm seeming pretty content to "lick the icing off my fingers," enjoying the comfort of the food, people, and activities I enjoy. Along the way, the trials and tribulations of various learning experiences will undoubtedly, and increasingly, curb me towards better and healthier forms/ways of enjoyment, but I ain't trying to do the "ascetic monk dance" this go around to expedite enlightenment...Quite honestly, I feel like I may have (in some other incarnation[s]...) already done a few rounds of intense transformation that have gone ahead and given me a good foundation to now work from--I now stand upon some pretty firm, solid, steady, stable, deeply rooted values of a spiritually enduringly and secure nature it would seem. Could I dig a little deeper to uproot the weeds of certain habits, practices, indulgences, etc. that would even further promote my growth? Of course....but I've whittled things down so that my actions aren't making huge, disruptive waves of effects beyond myself at this point, so the karma I reap from beyond myself isn't as ongoingly forthcoming. As far as I can tell, besides the normal daily karma type of stuff generated in the present life, which also tends to demonstrate in the present life (which is where the majority of personally habitual “static” gets ironed out...) as well, I try not to consciously engage other people's business and affairs in any way that might do harm. As such, it's definitely seemed that my bigger life "tragedies" have had more of a sense of necessity about them thus far, as though they provide some needed lesson while also releasing me from some enforced condition of confinement...

If what I've been gleaning to be the case is correct, then I'd go ahead and say that my current "spiritual aspiration" is just to preserve an enduringly comfortable quality of living, within and beyond this life. Rather than letting go of all the habits that keep me bound to incarnation so that I can move toward a more permanently transcendent expression, it seems like I'd rather toggle around with how long I can hold onto the familiarly secure sensations I enjoy without HAVING to give them up...LOL...Like, could I please work it out to keep having a calm, integrated life surrounded with loved ones and favorite pleasures while I slowly work out karmic accumulations and perform meaningful service that helps me to grow at snail's pace?...I kinda think I could...

BUT, certain unavoidable life events and changes will inevitably shake us to our core, at least from time to time, to keep things from getting too stagnant. (Those attachments which we hold onto because we “enjoy” them, always seem to become enjoyed less, or have their attachment loosened, when their time to be released is near…) I fully expect my fair share of personal upheavals to come along throughout life’s journey... I probably won't get to "rest on my laurels" as long as I'd like ...Still, while I have had more tendency in the past to seek out intensely transformative experiences, sometimes trying too hard to enforce some revelatory change or another, I find I'd now prefer to let these experiences find me...as needed...and I'd like to move forward by carrying this attitude into the future with me in this life and beyond.

So what if I indulge in the physical world? That doesn't make me any less of a spiritual being. There's no gun to my head, and so no immediately urgent hurry, to let go of certain physical pleasures I'm attached to, despite how they could potentially be holding back some sort of spiritual progress. I expect progress will ultimately continue to move forward by necessity (on an "as needed" basis...) regardless of my choices. The best I can do is to work towards aligning my choices with the flow of progress as each change in the tides approaches. I can always preemptively use my experience with willfully transforming conditions to make changes and stay poised amidst hardships, but in reality, if I don't act preemptively for such, the changes around me would eventually "force my hand" to make certain adjustments whether or not I was personally receptive and willing...It's nice to know life is willing to kick you in the ass if you're stagnating past some expiration date...

Furthermore, I'd like to consider the possibility that we're NOT really trying to forget the spirit by indulging the body, nor are we trying to escape the body by chasing the spirit....I'm inclined to think we really ARE working to bring heaven (nonphysical) to earth (physical), manifesting an Eden of paradise that eternally endures on ALL levels, as everything we discover within is realized externally as well! In such a way, eternal physical life (or as long as you wanna live...) becomes possible, and the beautification, peace, integration, and "perfection" of life is enacted in cooperation with nature's flow. This takes both a current of transformation AND preservation....Some of the work involves changing outdated and debilitating beliefs/practices, while other work requires fortifying and securing what's essentially beneficial and pleasing.

Collectively, much like the life cycle of a plant, we have trekked all the way down to our physical roots for the dark, cold, cosmic "winter." The spiritual light and life force of the "sun's" source has steadily diminished so that we have sustained ourselves solely(soul-ly) from our store of past accumulated activity and energy. As such, we have become thoroughly focused on ourselves, our individuality, and our own particular nature and small store of energy (as an individual "plant") that defines us as we live through it, separate from those others around us. However, the “season” HAS changed, the light of the "sun" IS again increasing, and we ARE all slowly waking back up to again reach towards it. Steadily, we stop depleting our stored energies by feeding off ourselves and others as this larger, unconditional, all-giving source of energy again provides collective sustenance for all. As life wakes up together, the connected, interactive, unified nature of existence becomes more richly emphasized as this "spring" takes off. Just as the light of the sun slowly "pulls" a plant towards it, causing it to grow bigger, stronger, and more vibrant as it thrives throughout the process, so are we being pulled towards an existence of more optimally thriving now, in connection with previously veiled awareness and transcendent ideals. It is my speculation that this process continues to increase the ways in which we may collectively enjoy the bounty of life, while also coming to see some of the brightest ways that spiritual/transcendent values are able to physically manifest in ways that generate the experience of Earth as Eden. This approach heralds “summer,” when the “flowers” bloom and the “fruit” becomes ripe. Such would metaphorically signal the peak of our earthly Eden experience, where our hierarchically collective needs of food, water, shelter, and belonging have all been met, in addition to the higher order achievement of actualizing the potential of our overall (spiritually inclusive) development up to such a point.

While such a realization would still be quite a ways off, it's approach is certainly something I can envision...Much as the bloom and production of fruit is like the peak "orgasm" of a plant's life, preceding it's eventual "death," our state of reaching some earthly paradise may simultaneously coincide with our closest approximation of connection to some spiritual/non-material/transcendent source and state of being. Something about completing one's purpose, achieving one's optimal potential, and "blooming" suggests that one has fulfilled themselves to such a point that they no longer further desire anything, and that would be grounds for then solely desiring to discarnate completely from the physical world so as to join a collective unity of spiritual oneness. THAT would be the period of time when I'd expect some mass exodus or ascension to gradually (…or quickly…) "beam up" our collective of completed and fulfilled souls to experience spiritually non-physical bliss (for a timeless moment of eternity that's as long as forever and as short as the blink of an eye) before slowly "coming back down" to again increasingly physically enmesh oneself in the world by either focusing the energy to the root of one's core to continue some process of transformative growth, or beginning anew as a fresh seedling to begin some wildly new chapter's perspective. So beyond any "bloom of fruition," after the fruit is celebrated and enjoyed, the seeds of future possibilities are taken in by the earth to sprout anew in the next cycle as the old plant begins to again experience the decline of it's vital energies (whle any plants with insufficient "funds" of energy are also eliminated and die via the dark, cold winter), reaching again towards the return of its earthbound focus on its root sustenance that remains.

In short, and without metaphor, after we create a spiritually/consciously deprived, individuated, physical experiment of extremity out of life that takes it to its "deadest" (most material) state, we slowly begin to consciously re-implement spiritual values and a collective focus that enliven things to their brightest, "alive" (most spiritual) state. Then once things peak in that direction, things turn around once more in the other direction...One marker to collectively indicate which "side" we're closest too could likely be understood through our relationship to death. When things are "deadest" and most material, people are more likely to die from accidents, poor health, and just more or less "unconscious" ways that seem out of control, mechanical, and without reason or understanding. When things are "alive" and most spiritualized, people are more likely to die consciously, on purpose, by their own choice, for reasons they understand and comply with. There’s a contrasting ring of finality and eternity to these two directions, which again emphasize whether a collective culture (or microcosmicaly, an individual) fears death as some ultimate ending and obliteration or embraces it as some new beginning, opening, and transition.

Regardless of all the existential speculation, and regardless of the current culturally collective trending direction at the time, I'm pretty confident in a slow steady parade towards deeper, calmer expressions of earthly paradise for myself...It could potentially be obvious that my perspective astrologically reflects a position of having a natal South Node in Scorpio with the North Node in Taurus. Those themes have certainly been highlighted to me throughout this internal excavation. However, I'd expect that many others with different focuses may personally be experiencing other orientations to life, especially those with an oppositely directed focus that calls for them to release over-attachment to familiar comforts, values, and sensations in favor of radically transforming themselves in order to get in touch with their deeper soul needs through loss and change....Sometimes, individual lessons can be personally paradoxical, or just paradoxical with regard to larger collective trends, and that's fine of course. All the various cycles of letting go and holding on are “right on time” in the most important of contexts ;)

For now though, I'm in no real hurry to activate any huge changes....if one's needed, something will need to tip me off by consciously getting my attention...and I’m sure it will! While my general trend for growth may graciously be to learn the steady, calm enjoyment of valued pleasures while I simply further develop my resources and abilities, I'm sure that my "old hat" for staying poised in the midst of crisis and making drastic changes will at least need to be activated at some point(s) in order to clear SOME old shit that resurfaces along life's way...if not to also additionally be used in other innovative ways as well for the collective good...Still, it's nice to not feel to be under pressure and "in the fire" for a spell... ;)