Secret Agents Under Cover

For whatever reason, I love to cast shadows into the light, and describing components to this modus operandi (and its contradictory opposite) felt like a fun way to wait while my oil gets changed ;)

(In retrospect, I “get” that this is all more of just a “story” overall..."I" isn't always “me” personally....we each play the "light warrior" and we each play the "dark destroyer" in different ways, to different extents, depending on different circumstances....we each just have to stay mindful of when which character is paraded on center stage, why, and for what purpose; consciousness is the currency of exchange...Since I definitely prefer to identify with the light the more my journey expedites, that is the point of view "I" primarily assert here...although, just like anyone, my halo slips down from time to time too, in need of detailed readjustments…Just realize that “me” can be “you” too, and “I” can actually be some “other”…it all paradoxically depends, and while editing my writing, I can see a certain vacillation to my own identification…just enjoy the ideas and play however you’re prone)

To begin, I do primarily tend to prefer to walk in the light, but I'm also not afraid to walk in the dark; like the psychopomp Hermes, I prefer a "license" that will allow me to walk in both worlds, so while I am not prone to remaining bound myself, I have no condemnation towards energies that prefer their time of confinement; things incubate in the dark before emerging into the light...Come what may, I just try to "hold" the light enough, bright (but safe) inside, so that it can survive the pressures of plunging into the deep dark fathoms for excavation without cracking its integrity while succumbing to such a dive.

One way this is achieved is via somewhat of a masquerade. When I slap on a black shirt, drink from a brown bottle, and keep my mouth shut about expansive ideals, I'm easily admitted to most any demon's den of potentially disastrous addictions, which might be “contracted” if one is not sufficiently wary, but even if I don’t “swallow” any of their jagged pills, the wraiths there don't tend to bother me much when I dress to make an impression that they’re more prone to finding flattering; they'll simply assume I'm "one of them" already...However, while I will walk "downstairs, where no one can see new life break away," I don't Truly have much desire to partake in many of their shenanigans Although I do occasionally like a good change of scenery and a fun show, before eating any amount of pomegranate seeds from the Underworld, it does well to get clear about how long one is willing to stay; there has to be quite a beneficial exchange offered when Rumpelstilkskin wants to play "let's make a deal" with me for some of my time, and I have to have insured/ensured that I can afford any possible setbacks without losing my True course in the long run, as I endeavor to keep immaculate records of my expenditures and payments due, investing so that the "good" will outweigh any "bad" endured for some “other” sake...In short, while I may write with the left hand when I sign a check, I lean strongly towards the right with how I spend my funds...

What I seem designed to enjoy about the visitation to a darkened lair is that, with my capacity to stealthily "fit in" without detection, I find myself poised to electrically "flash" any vampires who DO find their attention drawn in my direction--"blinded by the light" comes to mind...I see it like planting a bomb of bright consciousness in an area that's obliviously shaded with ignorance—somewhat of a kamikaze phoenix perhaps…Whenever I turn "on," anything “off” in the dark of my vicinity gets quite the highlight. (In the past, I’ve been “flashed” a time or two myself when I’ve been overly distracted…) Perhaps I’m just a wild rebel, daring to go where others may fear, but the higher the stakes, the greater the potential gains…that is, if one has accurately weighed out the risks ingrained to the game and ascertained that the challenge can be met while Love is retained.

Here's the interesting twist: anything dark that actually DOES stumble my way IS actually thirsty for what I've got; darkness hungers for light. Of course, it can be a rather painful experience to step into the sun when one’s slept in a coffin for so long...As such, after a "flash" burns up some of the stagnant decay, a vampire will usually run away into its familiar dark territory, but with such a seed planted, their hunger for light grows stronger, and the process of transformation is catalyzed. Sometimes, the vampires will even seek me out again, subconsciously hoping for another taste, allowing further opportunities to combat the stale inertia of their densely bound beliefs of dark favoritism. Eventually, if their desire for the light is awakened enough, they will start to stand behind me, moving forward to walk beside me as their inclination shifts. Then up the ladder we ascend, and my trek down to potentially retrieve a blind being, and help them grant themselves greater sight, is proven fruitful. Of course not ALL vampires want the light....

(It might also be worth inserting now that light can also find itself fond of certain shades of darkness at various junctures. Again, while I describe the phenomenon from one perspective more than the other perhaps, favoring light more prominently, when darkness is equated as matter, and I do try to keep that level of consideration intact amidst others explored in this writing, there can be a time when the allure of a material container is more enchanting that the more diffuse nature of energy’s generality. Of course, matter is not permanent, while energy more arguably is…yet both are also the same, just existing in different states along a spectrum. The devil knows how to advocate for its material vices, but the Truth also remains that only light is eternal; matter decays and changes, and it’s only through Love that light “falls” to fill a vessel and shine out the Way of return. It’s a seasonal exchange…)

Some shadow natives will just stay far away from me after I've revealed the light of my true nature, cause they just want to go back to (and stay) asleep. That is their choice. They may even, for a time, try to seductively entice me into adopting their own perspective. The difference in methodology is that light transmutes with Truth, while darkness consumes with lies. However, once enough light is established, beings just can’t comfortably remain in darkness as indefinitely though; they simply see too much and "know better" at a point. On the other hand, a light being has to, more or less, CHOOSE to descend...To the degree a blind spot exists, it becomes a doorway that can lead one to "fall" into some misTAKE or another--no judgment though; all beings move up and down the ladder in a variety of sequences. Sometimes we make a "sacrifice" for something greater, and if done with sufficient Love beneath the exteriorly apparent error, evil GIVES Way to an inevitably brighter regeneration eventually. (You tear down a muscle before you build it bigger...Your body fights off an illness/infection before it creates antibodies and/or is granted fall off the bike a few times throughout the process of learning to ride it...)

Ultimately, the “battle” could be thought of more neutrally as being between hot and cold, dry and moist, soft and hard, or other less charged concepts where a “right” and “wrong” are more subjective. (Interestingly, there DOES seem to also be an objective nature to ethics and morality—do no harm. We just continually refine our affinity for meeting that standard to greater degrees, and well, moving through time linearly makes it difficult to assess any infallible absolutes to the bigger picture. Still, we all have an innate affinity towards goodness, so we CAN always make such a choice. By grace though, errors of evil are lovingly assimilated into a larger framework so that educational redemption can occur.) There’s just a certain magnetism at play that pairs opposites of a similar caliber together that are most prone to “match” and activate one another’s expression. Anyways, until a vampire is certain about some questionable being's position, or when a light being is determining how far into the dark some other is “convicted”, they usually “wrestle” to assess their stance, and conversion of one to the other’s side may occur to the degree that either one is ready for change. When it's clear that the other being is staunchly adhering to their stance though, vampires either keep their distance or move closer to the light themselves, and light beings will either leave the vampires to their devices or dabble to the degree of their own curiosity. Such is the dance...

Oh, and since I realize that I "play" as an undercover agent of light sometimes, you best believe that I'm aware that the dark forces keep deceptive beings from their own ranks planted among the light to activate as is opportune. They may dress all in white, abstain from various indulgences, and have beautiful ways of cleverly professing an affinity for “love and light”, so discernment is still needed, even within the midst of seemingly like-minded comrades. A wolf in sheep's clothing can act as a "black hole" to suck in and down any being that can be glamorously dazzled. The tactics employed include inducing guilt, grief, anger, co-dependent control, confusion, self-deprecation, self-righteousness, etc. Under a guise of “love,” such forces will attempt to sever a being’s connection to Unity by rationalizing a sense of separation. These forces will usually staunchly advocate for the light, while polarizing excessively against anything “dark,” but to make half of the whole an enemy is but a mark of dissociation. True light forces will live and let live. While vampires indeed must be invited in, they will work to suggest that an invitation be made. Those of the light will practice non-interference unless/until asked for assistance…to some degree, ANYTHING must be invited to occur, and so we are ALWAYS responsible for our experience; no “them” does anything to “us” without our implicit permission.

Of course, it needs to be reiterated, and remain duly noted, that NO ONE is entirely light or entirely dark. While we live in human form, we are not truly an angel nor a demon. To the contrary, we evolve and grow through seasons and cycles where the percentage of light to dark waxes and wanes, just like the natural progression through the seasons. The determination of one’s stance at any given moment is made according to how things weigh out: 51% of one to 49% of the other is a nice even ideal to aim towards, although larger discrepancies may exist at various times, but however the scales are tipped, an innate orientation exists to whatever has more gravity. However, shifts are made more prominently at times of transition, facilitated by whatever “changing of the guard” is necessitated by the events one experiences in their life and how one is posed to consciously meet them. During such periods, each side (light and dark) will essentially “recruit” by sending forth diplomatic ambassadors into the other side’s ranks in order to test the mettle of their integrity, and to the degree they are “ripe” to fall or ascend, the discipline, or lack thereof, present will determine the direction that movement is made. This functions individually, as well as collectively. (Quick sidenote: collectively, the scales seem to be tipping for a season of light to grow brighter!...all due apologies to any sore hoards of the darker inclination…that path is just expiring in the light of our present’s current accumulation of spirituality and dissolution of materiality.)

Soooo, working as such a “binary ambassador” myself, I am still willing to plunge into the darkness to explore, but I don't like to hold my breath down under any longer than necessary right now; each mission is compelled by some purpose, but time spent below, without allowing the light to recharge, risks the dimming of the light towards potential extinguishment, and light is the currency of importance to retain at this juncture. Hence, one has to know their limits and proper boundaries when charging forth into the fray of the fringe. There was a time when I reveled in the commotion of chaos much more, but that jazz just doesn't compare to the integrity of order visible in authentic light. As such, there are increasingly fewer vices of form/matter/darkness that hold much value to me and entice my engagement. Luckily, this makes it easier to gloss through the muck, sliding around without getting stuck. I’ve increasingly gotten more of a taste for Truth than any enchanting illusions. Still, the irony of such a position is that it can also become a slippery slope into becoming too idealistically arrogant, and therefore unknowingly becoming a wolf in sheep’s clothing, standing in the light, but only shining as a result of its deflection, if nothing new is allowed to enter and burn up debris while filling the emptying space.

All in all, temperance is necessary to avoid swinging too far to either side, as the middle path of moderation is the most harmonious Way to know Self, and through relation, God. Ultimately though, “be not afraid, it’s just a game,” and both sides of the equation add up to make a difference that calculates to the best overall solution. It’s important to keep good records, so as to make wise choices, but without getting wrapped up in trying to keep score. Both sides have their part to play in the grand drama of life, so it really doesn’t matter as to which side is ahead or behind; they’re working on the same team from the top down to the bottom line. The more one is apt to flow like the torus of the yin-yang, up and down, in and out, dark and light, simultaneously, the easier it is to adapt to whatever evolutionary necessity is at hand for any given moment without estranging the other. For now though, I find it due time to enhance the display of bright lights, as the darkness has taken the totality of its agenda to a point that will only yield oblivion if left unchecked. Perhaps, over a LONG span of time’ continuation, the elevation into the light will similarly become so extreme that coagulation into darkness becomes due for the realm of matter to stay grounded, but it’s just not that season. (It helps to view the process like the water cycle; the matter of rain water evaporates into the light air of spirit, and then condenses to fall down again as thicker, denser substance when circumstances call for such—no judgment about the process.)

Well, now that the rules to the game are all laid out on the table, I guess the jig is up! One can choose to play either way, and one can even change their mind as inclined, but a choice must still be made in each moment…and if you really plan to get anywhere, you really have to keep traveling in the same direction consistently without too much flip-flopping along the Way. We can either drink from the cup of light offered or shirk back into a sleep of familiar darkness. Although I’ve definitely picked a side to “root” for (ironically up above), as I sense the swing of the tides at hand, I’ll endeavor to remain standing in a position of neutrality, where I can walk in both worlds without disregard to either.

“Shine on forever,
Benevolent Sun.
Shine out upon the many
Until the two become One…

Silence legion,
Save your poison,
Silence leeches,
Stay out of my Way!”--Tool